Music

As most of you know I was suppose to head out to the Poconos last week for the summer and have decided not to go. I stayed to prepare for my move to Norway. I feel that God has really done this for many reasons. First one being He has made it possible to strengthen my relationships with people I really care about. He is giving me time to really enjoy a few months of family and friends. I want to thank him for that because it has been a tremendous blessing. Another reason I believe God has given me these few months here is to really prepare physically, financially and mentally for heading back into missions. Being that it's only about 6 weeks until I take off nobody wants to hire me for such a short time so I have quite a bit of quiet time to myself in my house and I would love to share with you what I have gone through in the last 48 hours.

If you know me well you know that music and dancing is a huge part of my life. For many years I have listened to, and what I thought loved, rap and R&B music. I am a firm believer that what you listen to you live. I loved that music because I loved to dance to it. I would always say that it was just the beats that I loved and I didn't really listen to the words. Well I will be the first to admit, that's impossible to do. I definitely lived that culture and it tore me to pieces. (you can read all about it in my early posts) Since then I have come a very long way and have changed in big ways however, one thing I never gave up was my music. Something inside me just didn't want to say goodbye to it and this is where the last 48 hours comes in. About a day ago I realized that for years I hid behind dancing and a fake self confidence so people would like me and see me as that wild fun as hell girl so it's almost as if this music was a security blanket for me. The crazy thing is those were the most painful years of my life and keeping that music was just holding me back from growing and learning that my real identity is in Christ. So needless to say I got rid of ALL of that music. Most of it being rap & R&B. That music does not better me in any way as a person and all it did was make me feel like I was not sexy enough or rich enough....etc. Well those are lies! And I know longer want to be looked at just for my looks and that's what that music condones. I can't tell you the weight that was lifted off my shoulders when I did this . It feels good. It's going to be hard to steer clear of it but I have a family and amazing friends who are willing to back me up the whole way. You know the craziest part of it all... I don't miss it at all. And I now have one less thing blocking my view of Christ and i'm one step closer to him.... which is priceless.

Have You Forgotten

(thats my brother!)

You know I normally try to stay out of the big "political" conversations 1. because they are really touchy and 2. cause I am not that smart when it comes to that stuff but this in one subject I can't keep my opinion to myself. Over the last few years I have come into contact with many people who have absolutely torn the republicans apart and had nothing good to say about George Bush or the war. In fact not only do they hate him for agreeing to go to war but they also blame him for why it's going on all together! Well I am completely blown away with all of the stupid arguing back and forth about if it is right or wrong that we are at war. God has placed George Bush in a position of power for a reason and whether or not we agree with everything he is doing he is our president and it is so important for our country to stick together. Our troops have made the decision to fight for our country and that's a very honorable decision and they deserve the utmost respect. My brother has also entered the service and that was not something he was forced to do that was something he felt led by God to do along with many of his fellow soldiers. He is fighting for this country's freedom and our safety and while he is over in Afghanistan right now our country is sitting around here complaining about who's right and what we should do about it. If this country spent half the time praying for this war and our men and women fighting over there at least we would be doing something positive and that will make a difference. I am not going to say whether or not I support this war... but what I do support is God and He is the one who is running all this NOT George Bush. And if this is where we are right now I am in full support and I absolutely cannot express my gratitude enough for the men and woman who are laying down there lives so that we can have a safe place to sleep at night.
The reason I am bringing all this up is because I came across this song by Darryl Worley called "Have you Forgotten". I was listening to the words and it really hit me.... I love my country and I will do anything I can to support it. We have to quickly forgotten what it is we are fighting for. I will post a few of the lyrics below so you can read them... but watch the video!

I hear people saying we don't need this war
I say there's some things worth fighting for
What about our freedom and this piece of ground
We didn't get to keep 'em by backing down
They say we don't realize the mess we're getting in
Before you start your preaching let me ask you this my friend

Have you forgotten how it felt that day? To see your homeland under fire And her people blown away Have you forgotten when those towers fell? We had neighbors still inside going thru a living hell And you say we shouldn't worry 'bout bin Laden Have you forgotten?

I've been there with the soldiers Who've gone away to war
And you can bet that they remember Just what they're fighting for

Have you forgotten all the people killed?
Some went down like heroes in that Pennsylvania field
Have you forgotten about our Pentagon? All the loved ones that we lost and those left to carry on Don't you tell me not to worry about bin Laden Have you forgotten?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_-x9kMPauc
that's the music video for it!

Love You Matt!!!!!

Friends

(we are missing Maggie and Cole in this one!)

OK so it has been a few weeks since i have written a new post but a lot has happened in that time. First off I am only a week away from leaving for camp. Yes i am excited but I am so sad at the same time. I have had the most amazing two weeks with my best friends and i am so sad to leave them. I just feel like I don't have enough time to be with them before I move overseas. I have been so blessed to have them in my life and i am just now realizing how irreplaceable they are. My life has been about moving and change ever since I can remember and as lucky and appreciative as I am for the experiences I (every now and then) wish I could just be still for a while and enjoy what God has given to me. Fresh starts have pros and cons and one of the cons is loneliness. I battle it every time I move and start over and it is a huge fear of mine right now. I have taken advantage of relationships in the past and I am finally at a place in my life where I know how amazing the one's in my life are. I love that we will be able to pick up right where we left off no matter how much time passes and if I need a friend they will always be there. It is so hard to find REAL love and friendship in this world but I have been lucky enough to find it in four amazing girls!!! xoxoxo

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

"A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope."